My kid isn't a social outcast!

Dario is an amazing kid.  And I say that with only a little bit of bias.  He really is amazing!  He's smart and funny.  He's weird in the best sense of the word.  He loves all things comic book and has proclaimed himself a "gamer".  He likes to play "Vampire" or "Zombie".  What kid does that?! 

He has the most magnetic eyes I have ever seen.  They are light chocolate brown and they melt my heart.  He knows the difference between right and wrong and finds it really hard to accept when other kids make the wrong choice or "wrong" him.  He gets really upset when others don't say, "Good game" at the end of a backyard baseball game. 

Dario is sensitive and gets his feelings hurt easily.  He is fiercely loyal to his friends.  Having said all that, I have come to the conclusion that my son will probably never be athletically competitive like I would wish.  He would rather dive into a video game or play Marvel heros with these.  Sure, he will go along with a game of baseball or football, but given the choice he would rather pretend to be a secret agent or an alien from Ben 10.  He is rarely without a costume of some sort.  A dragon, Wolverine, Captain America, Ultimate Humongasaur or Sonic the Hedgehog are his usual disguises.


Ultimate Humongasaur

He is so handsome!

I love all these things about him, but have been worried that maybe he wasn't fitting in with his classmates.  This entire school year he has not been invited to a single birthday party or play date for any kid in his class.  I started to think that maybe he would start to talk about his video games or his comic book stuff too much and the other boys wanted to talk about sports or whatever else other kids talk about.  He has friends, of course.  His best friend, Ethan, is 9.  Dario loves him so much.  He looks up to him and would much rather be at Ethan's house than his own.  They have been best friends since Dario was born.  They both are into the same things.  They could play for hours and hours without needing much more than a snack and something to drink every so often.  It is awesome that he has such a good friend that "gets" him, but since they are not in the same class or even the same school he doesn't get to see him as much as we would like.

Then, it happened!  This past Saturday while we were at Ethan's birthday party, I got a call from a boy in Dario's class' mom.  She wanted to know if Dario wanted to come over and play with Colt.  We have taken Colt to the Children's Museum before, but Dario has never been invited over to a friends house from school!  Luckily, the party was ending and we could take him over to Colt's house on our way home.  Dario was so excited!  I mean, Ethan's birthday party AND an invite to play at Colt's house in one day!!! 

When we got to Colt's house I talked with his mom and she told me that Colt doesn't talk about any other kids in the class except for Dario. His parents were so excited that the boys could play together. 

We had signed Dario up for baseball for this spring.  Colt's dad is a coach, which we didn't know about.  He saw Dario's name on the list of kids and picked him for his team.  He said it made Colt happy to have Dario on his team.  I talked with Colt's mom about helping out with the team.  She seemed so happy for Colt to have a friend on the team. 

They offered to bring Dario home after a little bit so James and I went home with Janie.  A few hours later Colt's mom called and I talked to Dario.  He wanted to spend the night!  While I was glad that he felt comfortable enough there to stay the night, I still wasn't ready for him to be away from me all night with someone that I really only knew for a few minutes.  I'm sure they are fine people and great parents, but I'm pretty picky about who my kids stay the night with.  I said I wanted him home and they brought him home about 30 minutes later.  I said we would plan a sleep over in a few weeks.  Dario was mad at me for not letting him stay.  I'm so glad that he has made a friend in his class.  It is so nice to know that he can make friends!

Just a little video displaying the awesomeness that is my kid.

Guinea Pig Parenting

This week has been so much better than last week on the Dario front.  We have started his "Good Behavior Chart" and it was a huge hit!  I noticed that because Dario was being punished so much he began to be so hard on himself.  He would say things like, "I guess I will just be a bad boy forever." and "I only know how to be bad".  It broke my heart!  He is such a good-hearted boy and to hear him say those things about himself made me so sad.  Honestly, it made me feel like I had scarred him mentally for punishing him.  I never said those things to him, but obviously made him feel that way. 

Anyway, we wanted to focus on all the good things he does on a daily basis.  I set up a reward system in which he could work towards his rewards by doing good things.  The categories were like, Helping Mom and Dad; Picking up Your Room; Good Listening; Good School Day; Good Bedtime, etc.  He had different rewards for each behavior.  He has already filled up the helping mom and dad category and a few others.  He really started to notice that he already does good things all of the time.  This started to make him realize that he was able to control his behavior in school.  He began to take responsibility for his actions, both good and not-so-good.  His teacher has been really great by sending home a note each day to let me know how his day went.  Every day was a "great" day!  He told me that he has learned how to ignore other kids when they talk to him during class.  Not sure if this will make him a social outcast or not, but at least he is staying quiet and listening.  Let's face it, he is probably going to be a nerd, dork, geek or whatever you want to call it. 

So we are going to continue with the positive reinforcement for now and see how it goes.  My little guinea pig of a child just might make it after all. 

Parenting is hard!

So the first week of my 17 day diet and I am still alive, which is nice.  Honestly, it has not been that bad.  I have noticed some cravings for ice cream, but for the most part I am adjusting pretty well.  Valentines day was Tuesday which was day 2 of my diet.  Not good!  My fella had chocolate dipped strawberries delivered and I would have felt awful if I didn't eat them.  I mean, how ungrateful right?!  They were delicious!  I was proud of myself though.  I ate the strawberries and than got right back on the wagon.  I know I said I wouldn't weigh myself until this first phase is over, but I am an instant gratification kind of a girl.  Which is why I have so much weight to lose in the first place.  So, I weighed myself yesterday and I am already down 5.5 lbs!  I have made some modifications to the diet because I am breastfeeding.  I have added a few more calories which come from low fat yogurt and 1-2 more servings of fruit.  I have really noticed how many calories I used mindlessly though.  Just in my morning coffee each day I would have had at least 100 added calories from Bailey's creamer.  Anyway, I am really happy with the results so far. 
Now onto the title of my post.  Parenting is hard!!!  This week was a real challenge with Dario.  He has been having a hard time at school keeping still and focused.  His teacher is such a sweet lady and has been really working with him, but he has told me for a week that he has had no problems when in fact he has had to be constantly reminded to stop distracting other students and to be quiet.  Lying is not tolerated in the Ferrentino house!  His dad and I have had to strip his room leaving only his desk, bed and dresser.  No toys, tv or ds.  I cried myself to sleep that night.  I hate being a responsible parent.  It would be so much easier if I just let him do what he wanted and didn't stick to punishments at all.  I truly know that we are doing the right thing, but I still hate it.  He is such a great kid and he has a sweet heart.  It's times like this that I wish I could drown my mommy-sorrows in a tub of my favorite ice cream.  But, I didn't.  Instead, I ate some pistachios and called it a night.  Oh, and I snuck into bed with him and cuddled him.  It made me feel better.

17-day diet

So I don't want to sound like a stereotypical new mom, but the girl wrecked my body!  And in all fairness, I can't blame her.  It was my own fault for eating gallons of ice cream and not exercising like I should have while I was pregnant.  As soon as I got that BFP, I told myself, "You are going to exercise all the time and eat right!"  Ha!  I was so tired and nauseous in the first trimester that I could barely get up off the couch, let alone make healthy food or snacks.  All I ate the first trimester was crackers, sprite and turkey.  Gross, huh?  It's all that didn't make me sick.  The second trimester I wasn't sick and not as tired so you would think that I would start making healthy meals and exercising more.  Ha Ha!  Instead, I indulged in my cravings and laziness.  It sure was fun though!  The third trimester I was again too tired to really do anything except lay around and make my husband wait on me hand and foot.  Again, super fun, but ultimately disastrous!  In the end I gained about 50 pounds!  I looked like this the night I got pregnant...I'm the one in black.  It was my 30th birthday party!

And this is me a week before I had Janie.  The cute-ass kid is my Dario!

And this is me after I had Janie.

I mean, I get it.  She is totally worth it.  But Day-Um!  I was smokin hot before I got pregnant!  She is almost 8 months old now and it's just about damn time to get my ass into shape.  So this is the point of my blog today.  I am starting what is called the 17 day diet.  It sounds super cheesy and like a quick fix, but it's not.  It's basically a healthy eating plan divided into 17 day phases.  The first phase allows

Unlimited lean protein

Unlimited nonstarchy vegetables

2 low-sugar fruits

2 probiotics (low-fat yogurt)

1-2 servings of friendly fats

Green tea

64 ounces of water

17 days starting today I should lose 10-15 pounds.  Most of which is going to be water.  I am still breastfeeding so I have to modify just a little.  Like, instead of green tea all the time, I will drink Mother's Milk Tea.  Also, I am slightly addicted to coffee.  I drink one cup in the morning and if I don't I get a tremendous headache.  So, I will be drinking black coffee in the morning.  I hope to post at least once a week to help keep me accountable and also to keep a journal of my journey.  I know what it is like to be on a weight loss journey.  I have lost 100 pounds in about a year and was in maintenance before I got pregnant.  I can do it again.  I just need a kick in the ass.  As far as exercise, I got a new xbox exercise game.  I have a kinect so it should be fun.  It's way too cold to exercise outside this week.  So I am starting at (drum roll) 215 lbs.  I seriously just puked a little in my mouth.  I am not going to weigh myself again until February 29th which is 17 days and the end of phase I.  Hopefully, I will be under 200.  That would be awesome!

Parents on a Pedestal

My son tells me no less than fifty times a day that he loves me and that I'm the best mom in the world. I will never get tired of hearing that.  I think that my son putting me on such a pedestal is great for right now and it should be that way.  Our kids should look up to us, their parents, as super heroes.  I am my kids role model.  They should come to me for advice and reassurance.  I hope my daughter grows up and thinks, "I want to be a mom just like my mom one day."  I hope my son grows up and says, "I want to marry someone just like my mom one day."  I know I have and will make mistakes.  I am not looking forward to the day that my kids come to the realization that I am just a person like everyone else.  The day that I get knocked off the pedestal they have put me on is going to be a sad day for them and for me. 

My parents have been divorced for over 20 years.  They both have made mistakes.  For some reason, I can clearly remember mistakes that my mom made more than my dad.  I don't know if that's because my mom made more mistakes than my dad or if it's because my mom was more involved with me after the divorce.  Anyway, my mom's mistakes are numerous.  She talked bad about my dad to us kids during and long after the divorce.  She told us that our dad didn't want to be around us after the divorce when in all actuality my dad was so hurt and torn by her that he didn't NOT want to see us he just didn't have enough fight in him push the issue.  She dated a lot after the divorce.  She always chose her boyfriends or future husbands over us kids.  She is dramatic and would cause fights between my sisters and her.  We were teenagers shortly after the divorce and it was rough.  These are just a few mistakes she has made as a mother.  I'm honestly not trying to talk crap about my mom; I love her.  For as many mistakes and bad memories I have of her, there are double as many good times and good things she has done as a mother.  Needless to say, she was knocked down off her pedestal pretty quickly after I became an adult and realized what had happened.  Now my dad has made parenting mistakes too.  Like I mentioned before, he gave up on insisting on seeing his daughters during and after the divorce because my mom didn't make it "easy".  That was devastating to 7, 9, and 11 year old girls.  We thought he didn't want us anymore.  It was the start of many self-doubting thoughts for me.  My teenage years were not pretty because of that.  When he did have us for his weekends I remember him being so sad.  As the oldest daughter, I felt like I needed to be there for my dad.  Looking back, maybe he relied on me too much for his emotional well-being.  Having said all this, he really was a great dad and still is.  In my eyes he made no more mistakes after he met my step-mom about 18 years ago.  She seemed to center him and make him happy.  I thought they would be together forever.  His second mistake happened only a few weeks ago.  He was unfaithful to my step-mom and they are seperated.  He totally betrayed her and us kids. Since this just recently happened I haven't had that much time to process.  It's still so raw and painful. It couldn't have hurt anymore if he had been unfaithful to my own mother.  I love my step-mom and because of this stupid mistake my whole family has been wrecked.  He has been knocked off his pedestal.  It took longer for him than for my mom, but I'm sure it was inevitable.  I'm sure it will happen for me and my kids, I just hope it's not as devastating for my kids as it has been for me.

Target Nurse In

I am by no stretch of the immagination a "granola" or "crunchy" mom.  Actually, I'm a pretty lazy mom.  I use disposable diapers because it's more convenient for me.  I don't sleep with my 6 month-old; not because I think co-sleeping will harm my baby or cause SIDS, but because I like my sleep too much and sleeping with an infant isn't ideal for me.  But, when it comes to breastfeeding I am a huge advocate.  And I would be lying if I said it was strictly because breastfeeding is best for the baby.  A big reason I love breastfeeding is the simplicity of it.  No bottles to warm up.  No formula to mix.  Now, don't get me wrong; I love the bonding that comes with breastfeeding and of course the health benefits are fantastic.  But just being able to lift up my shirt and calm my crying baby and give her nourishment is the best part! 
I attended the Target Nurse-In today.  There were about 20 moms there with me and it was really great to see a group of women who felt strongly enough about a common cause to gather together and say, "Breastfeeding is normal and natural".  Honestly, I think there is something wrong with people who are "squeemish" about breastfeeding or have any sort of problems with a mother in the act of nursing.  So, you might see a little boob.  Big deal! 

This is ok? 

But this isn't?

I will never ask someone to eat their lunch in a dressing room or bathroom and I would ask for the same courtesy when it comes to feeding my baby.  She shouldn't have to have her head covered while eating either.  It's rude to put a blanket over someone's head when eating.  I wouldn't like it and she doesn't either.