Parents on a Pedestal

My son tells me no less than fifty times a day that he loves me and that I'm the best mom in the world. I will never get tired of hearing that.  I think that my son putting me on such a pedestal is great for right now and it should be that way.  Our kids should look up to us, their parents, as super heroes.  I am my kids role model.  They should come to me for advice and reassurance.  I hope my daughter grows up and thinks, "I want to be a mom just like my mom one day."  I hope my son grows up and says, "I want to marry someone just like my mom one day."  I know I have and will make mistakes.  I am not looking forward to the day that my kids come to the realization that I am just a person like everyone else.  The day that I get knocked off the pedestal they have put me on is going to be a sad day for them and for me. 

My parents have been divorced for over 20 years.  They both have made mistakes.  For some reason, I can clearly remember mistakes that my mom made more than my dad.  I don't know if that's because my mom made more mistakes than my dad or if it's because my mom was more involved with me after the divorce.  Anyway, my mom's mistakes are numerous.  She talked bad about my dad to us kids during and long after the divorce.  She told us that our dad didn't want to be around us after the divorce when in all actuality my dad was so hurt and torn by her that he didn't NOT want to see us he just didn't have enough fight in him push the issue.  She dated a lot after the divorce.  She always chose her boyfriends or future husbands over us kids.  She is dramatic and would cause fights between my sisters and her.  We were teenagers shortly after the divorce and it was rough.  These are just a few mistakes she has made as a mother.  I'm honestly not trying to talk crap about my mom; I love her.  For as many mistakes and bad memories I have of her, there are double as many good times and good things she has done as a mother.  Needless to say, she was knocked down off her pedestal pretty quickly after I became an adult and realized what had happened.  Now my dad has made parenting mistakes too.  Like I mentioned before, he gave up on insisting on seeing his daughters during and after the divorce because my mom didn't make it "easy".  That was devastating to 7, 9, and 11 year old girls.  We thought he didn't want us anymore.  It was the start of many self-doubting thoughts for me.  My teenage years were not pretty because of that.  When he did have us for his weekends I remember him being so sad.  As the oldest daughter, I felt like I needed to be there for my dad.  Looking back, maybe he relied on me too much for his emotional well-being.  Having said all this, he really was a great dad and still is.  In my eyes he made no more mistakes after he met my step-mom about 18 years ago.  She seemed to center him and make him happy.  I thought they would be together forever.  His second mistake happened only a few weeks ago.  He was unfaithful to my step-mom and they are seperated.  He totally betrayed her and us kids. Since this just recently happened I haven't had that much time to process.  It's still so raw and painful. It couldn't have hurt anymore if he had been unfaithful to my own mother.  I love my step-mom and because of this stupid mistake my whole family has been wrecked.  He has been knocked off his pedestal.  It took longer for him than for my mom, but I'm sure it was inevitable.  I'm sure it will happen for me and my kids, I just hope it's not as devastating for my kids as it has been for me.

Target Nurse In

I am by no stretch of the immagination a "granola" or "crunchy" mom.  Actually, I'm a pretty lazy mom.  I use disposable diapers because it's more convenient for me.  I don't sleep with my 6 month-old; not because I think co-sleeping will harm my baby or cause SIDS, but because I like my sleep too much and sleeping with an infant isn't ideal for me.  But, when it comes to breastfeeding I am a huge advocate.  And I would be lying if I said it was strictly because breastfeeding is best for the baby.  A big reason I love breastfeeding is the simplicity of it.  No bottles to warm up.  No formula to mix.  Now, don't get me wrong; I love the bonding that comes with breastfeeding and of course the health benefits are fantastic.  But just being able to lift up my shirt and calm my crying baby and give her nourishment is the best part! 
I attended the Target Nurse-In today.  There were about 20 moms there with me and it was really great to see a group of women who felt strongly enough about a common cause to gather together and say, "Breastfeeding is normal and natural".  Honestly, I think there is something wrong with people who are "squeemish" about breastfeeding or have any sort of problems with a mother in the act of nursing.  So, you might see a little boob.  Big deal! 

This is ok? 

But this isn't?

I will never ask someone to eat their lunch in a dressing room or bathroom and I would ask for the same courtesy when it comes to feeding my baby.  She shouldn't have to have her head covered while eating either.  It's rude to put a blanket over someone's head when eating.  I wouldn't like it and she doesn't either.