This week has been so much better than last week on the Dario front. We have started his "Good Behavior Chart" and it was a huge hit! I noticed that because Dario was being punished so much he began to be so hard on himself. He would say things like, "I guess I will just be a bad boy forever." and "I only know how to be bad". It broke my heart! He is such a good-hearted boy and to hear him say those things about himself made me so sad. Honestly, it made me feel like I had scarred him mentally for punishing him. I never said those things to him, but obviously made him feel that way.
Anyway, we wanted to focus on all the good things he does on a daily basis. I set up a reward system in which he could work towards his rewards by doing good things. The categories were like, Helping Mom and Dad; Picking up Your Room; Good Listening; Good School Day; Good Bedtime, etc. He had different rewards for each behavior. He has already filled up the helping mom and dad category and a few others. He really started to notice that he already does good things all of the time. This started to make him realize that he was able to control his behavior in school. He began to take responsibility for his actions, both good and not-so-good. His teacher has been really great by sending home a note each day to let me know how his day went. Every day was a "great" day! He told me that he has learned how to ignore other kids when they talk to him during class. Not sure if this will make him a social outcast or not, but at least he is staying quiet and listening. Let's face it, he is probably going to be a nerd, dork, geek or whatever you want to call it.
So we are going to continue with the positive reinforcement for now and see how it goes. My little guinea pig of a child just might make it after all.
I think if he's ignoring the other kids in class because it's the right thing to do, he will be a leader, not an outcast. I also like that you're tracking the positives. Sebastian does a lot of the same things when he gets in trouble, so maybe I should try that with him.
ReplyDeleteHe has made a total 180! Positive reinforcement has really helped. And as far as when he has been disrespectful he has gotten a spanking. Of course, I am calm when I do it. He walks the line pretty well though, so far.
DeleteI think you made a very good point that many parents don't realize...ongoing punishment is very negative for a child. We also use positive praise and do daily punishment, not weekly. It works very well and we usually have very many issues any more...it took a bit, but I think we are a good place for us.
ReplyDeleteParenting does not come with a guidebook and until this year, i thought parents who said that were wacko! But, it's true. Parenting gets harder as he gets older. My daughter who is only 8 mos is much easier to parent ;) I just pop out my boob when she is crying and all is well with the world.
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